Buhay Talaan ni Felipe - 2

Mamaalam, tala kong may ngiti, saglit lamang, may huling habilin, sa gitna ng yong paglalakbay, sa dako mong ihihimlay dalhin ang payapa't pangakong wagas. Patawad. May lunas pa araw nananamlay mong diwa s'yang may gamay ng malay mong tilang hiram. Itong minamataa, daang tinitimbang, dala, tang kong alay. Mamaalam sa mundong kay lupit, sadya kayang nilihis sa pait. Sa gitna ng yong paghihimlay, manlako kang maghihintay. Dalhin sa paaglitis. Taglay ng tamis. Paalam. ["Alay," Aia de Leon]

lunes, julio 04, 2005


When I was a kid, I had this asinine notion that I was a child of an alien since nobody could explain who my real parents are. And up to a certain extent, I believed that I had super natural powers. Particularly, the power to influence things or persons just by believing.

When I was in 5th grade, a classmate called Cortez insulted me over not giving to the mission collection by telling the whole class that my family has gone poor. I cried for a while and then I thought of revenge. I stared at him for the rest of the class period and seriously thought of the word "pain." At dismissal, he fell down the staircase and broke his arm. I smirked as I passed by him, very much pleased to see that he was in pain. In 6th grade, another classmate code named Ipis played a prank on me by placing bubble gum on my seat while in the laboratory. We were doing some chemical experiment and the flames from the burners were dancing in front of me. I imagined the flames spinning around his body. A few weeks later, he showed up in school bald. He was playing with firecrackers and his hair caught fire.

I used to have a dozen white dogs and I was the only one who could fully control them. I only spoke to them in my mind and strangely enough it seemed that they could understand what I was thinking. At night, when something on the street makes them bark, I would rise up, go to the front door and tap on the wall once to call their attention. While all of them are looking at me, I would gesture the silence sign with my lips and finger, believing that they would not make any more noise, and they would all return to the back of the house and never make another sound for the rest of the night.

I'm not telling about how evil or how bizarre I was when I was a kid. I'm telling about believing in something. Faith. I didn't have super natural powers as a kid. I just had this faith on favorable possible outcome of things. And when they happen, I get delighted. The more I get powerful.

I wish I could do the same for the country. Faith in our advancement. But for that to happen, there should also be the possibility for it to happen. How can you see that leeway if our leaders prefer playing in the political playground? If the bureaucrats' main concern is to grab power? If the ill-advised citizens favor the population's demons?

If you see what I see, give me a hug. I need it now.

Everyone needs it now.